How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops