yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

penis that is all

My mom just died....

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

Steve Jobs.

a show horse jumps over a bar

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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