What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jake Bowar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My friends are like trampolines I have none

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The glass is half an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops