Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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Real jokes.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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knock knock your gay

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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