What is brown and smells? Poop

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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your face.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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A van drives into a car.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Small titties.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops