your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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