What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Get in the van

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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