Amputations.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Women's Golf

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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