A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Robin, get in the car.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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a little girl gets raped

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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