People Eating Tasty Animals

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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Haha

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What flys? A fly

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A van drives into a car.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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