Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops