who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -35

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +46

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops