Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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The WNBA

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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