A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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a banana

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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God.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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steves legs

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops