- Anti Joke

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Go away.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

milly, milly, milly, cat

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

Your mom.

Guess what? Chicken butt

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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