Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Brett Farve

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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SAY

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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