what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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You're so straight!

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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