what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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