Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops