Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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