An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Liverpool City Football Club

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Take part of what?

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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