A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops