What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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