what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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