Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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