Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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