Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops