Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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sky silverstein

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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