What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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The global news

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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