Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops