How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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I'm homeless.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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