What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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