The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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knock knock? come in

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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