What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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My mom

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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