Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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