A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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