An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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My cat just died.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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