How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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123 f*ck off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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12 in general

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops