"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Guest what in the butt

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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