What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -22

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops