John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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