Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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hola said the chinese man

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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