- Anti Joke

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Pickle

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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