5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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