- Anti Joke

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Go away still nothing to see

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

[Insert anti-joke here]

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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