Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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