Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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I have a really funny joke.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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