Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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