A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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