- Anti Joke

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

my penis

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike