Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Man U

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Whats green? The color green.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops