What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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