Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the black women name her child jamaal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops