What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Hello

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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