3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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