Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Donald Trump

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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