what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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men's rights activists

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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