If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

What page are you on The gay page.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Actually it was me Josh brown

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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