Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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