A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops