Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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42

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Worms don't like apples.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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