Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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time to spruce up!

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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