What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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I'm tired.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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