Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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