What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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